ESTP: super attractive physically but it’s all downhill from there. never quite know what they’re going to do next but you can probably bet it will be irresponsible. somehow still lovable.
ESTJ: loud, logical, and get shit done — they are the warrior class of the life rpg. power stats make them unbeatable and if you encounter one, maybe just curl up and forfeit, to save time.
ESFP: giggly little shits. fun fun fun till her daddy takes the t-bird away. great for lifting your mood, not that great at lifting your credit score.
ESFJ: too appropriate, totally lacking in awkwardness. they’ll never forget your birthday, which will make you feel like shit when you constantly forget theirs.
ENTP: excellent companions if you enjoy people who instantly see through all your shit. very clever and very intuitive, you can’t fool them. i suggest you invest in other friends — ones you *can* fool.
ENTJ: impatient with people who make mistakes, namely, everyone. they’ll respect you if you stand up to them but why do that when you can run away instead. cuddle them and see what happens. i’m curious.
ENFP: too puppy to live. best suited for the profession of musical nanny. not advised for use around an open flame.
ENFJ: way too charming and capable, maybe they should stop making everyone else look bad. prone to making other people care about stuff they didn’t want to care about. so annoying.
ISTP: such butts. best suited for an apocalypse scenario, if no such scenario exists, they will create danger because they get bored. don’t encourage them, but don’t discourage them, as reverse psychology works too well.
ISTJ: low drama and low maintenance, best value at this price tier. best suited to actual human existence. least weird, which makes them kinda weird.
ISFP: squishy little darlings you might want to keep in your pocket, but please don’t or they will become forlorn. they notice everything, and it’s unnerving.
ISFJ: quietly and proudly do things for others. if you have a ring you need to deliver to mordor, take an ISFJ along with you for best results.
INTP: cute intergalactic spiders you want to hug and mistrust. prone to making you laugh but then days later you will wonder whether you were the butt of the joke.
INTJ: major dicks and kinda proud of it. prone to being right. prone to liking trance music way too much. all the ones i’ve ever met have been unexpectedly kinky. so i guess, expectedly.
INFP: they fall out of the sky and are raised by unicorns. if you feed one it will follow you home. they dissipate in water.
INFJ: chameleons appropriating your emotions and going quietly mad. prone to meltdowns and needing lots of naps.
“they won’t let me eat,wont let me sleep..”
I AM CRYING
I remember reading about how EA was trying to sell the rights to make The Sims into a movie and everyone was like “…how?”
Now I get it
It’s a horror movie
People wake up one day to find themselves transformed into puppets of an invisible malicious trickster god
First the bizarre happenings start:
someone becomes obsessed with stealing lawn gnomes
another person has a compulsion to stick their head into a strange device and emerges obsessed by grilled cheese sandwiches
people pee themselves despite being next to a bathroom because some mysterious unseen force makes them study cleaning
people find themselves stuck in rooms because they can’t step over common household objects
a young man doing some nighttime stargazing mysteriously vanishes
then their god turns sadistic
pool ladders mysteriously vanish, leading to several drownings
doors vanish just as a house fire begins
an elevator plummets several stories as a couple starts to get it on
a Murphy Bed gruesomely folds up, crushing the people inside
and that man who vanished while stargazing returns…but with something growing inside of him…and vague memories of a grotesque creature named Pollination Technician
the horror has begun
I would pay a lot to watch that movie
just remember that had voldemort picked neville to kill instead of harry and nevile was the boy who lived/the chosen one if neville had that lightening bolt scar severus snape would still be a death eater
it’s not like he thought being a death eater was wrong — it wasn’t until something directly affected him did he reconsider and idk about you but that is not my definition of “bravery” in the slightest
That…is actually a really good point